It's been awhile. Something about 3 small children doesn't leave you a lot of time for blogging. Don't know why.

To update, Che is fast approaching 5 years old, and wants to talk about his birthday quite often. At this point he's thinking he wants a chocolate cake with peanut butter filling, and a Star

Wars Birthday. Of course he wants to be Luke Skywalker for Halloween too. He's very excited that he got to choose Lucy and Zoe's costumes as well (Leia and Yoda) Due to my mom being ever generous with her time we were able to take Che to the Shedd in August. He had a great time, and his favorite thing to watch was the big sea turtle in the middle aquarium. He really liked the 4-D penguin movie too.

Check out his awesome shades. (The claws lift up for a larger viewing area if necessary)

The weekend we were in Chicago was also the weekend of the air and water show, so as we were enjoying the beautiful weather outside on the Shedd Patio Che got to see the Blue Angels fly over downtown several times. It was the greatest, and free!

Lucy and Zoe are 8 months old, almost 9. Lucy is crawling on her tummy and has been seen pulling up on her knees and rocking. She is very independent and likes to feed herself, biter biscuits and gerber puffs. Zoe has two teeth on the bottom both coming in within a week of one another. She is sitting up like a champ and is still very laid back and happy (unless the teeth are bugging her)

The weather here has been wonderfully cool, to the point that we had to put an extra blanket on our bed, and the girls wore fleece sleepers a couple of nights. I love this time of year. It also meant that we got to get out some of the girls' new clothes that people got us as gifts, like these adorable sweatshirts:

And we get to accessorize with shoes...

And of course since there's never a dull moment in our house, the girls have come down with Hand Foot and Mouth (or so we think) It's a really mild case of just a few spots on the girls' hands and feet, and Che hasn't had anything... here's to hoping he doesn't come down with it too.

Eeek!

I should post more, but we've been a bit busy. Lucy has decided that she wants a new hairstyle:

Zoe decided that she's going to be a baker when she grows up and therefore needed a new hat:

Of course Che and Daddy are as silly as ever:
Seriously, it has been busy, but we're enjoying almost all of it, I can't say that we enjoy the lessened sleep but we know someday that will be over and then we won't be able to get them up in the morning!

The girls have started on some "solid" food. So far they've wrapped their taste buds around apples, peas, carrots, and sweet potatoes. I think the sweet potatoes didn't go over well, as Lucy got a rash in places unmentionable so we've backed off of that for a bit. Lucy can now roll from front to back, and Zoe is still marveling at that idea. Zoe does enjoy playing peek-a-boo much more than Lucy. Lucy's new trick is to scoot while she's on her back, putting her backside up into the air and pushing with her legs. One day when she was in the living room playing on a blanket she was able to push herself about 4 feet in about 5 minutes. We're definitely going to have to keep our eye on her!

Che is doing the summer program at his school which includes water and bike days as well as regular days, so he's enjoying himself greatly. For bike day he just got a new bike from Craigslist with training wheels, so no more tricycle! He's also excited about going to the pool in Grandma and Grandpa's neighboorhood but it's been a bit rainy here making the water a bit cold.

Other than that we've just been busy with normal life, which keeps us hopping till 10 or so every night, leaving little time for blogging and the like!

Wow

I really should post more often. Ooops.

I guess I owe some updates. The girls are now 4 1/2 months old and Che is 4. Eek, I can't believe it. The girls are sleeping mostly through the night, from about 10:30 to 5:30. They get up and fuss about for about an hour but then go back to sleep until about 8. They are drinking about 6 ounces a night, and we did give them rice cereal at 4 months 2 weeks. We tried it with a spoon, and Lucy did alright, but Zoe just keep spitting it out. We wanted to keep up with the cereal so we did the.worst. thing.ever. and put it in their bottles. Apparently you aren't supposed to do that, but we did anyway, and it's working fine. I think at 5 months we'll try some spoons again.

At four months Zoe weighed in at 10 lbs. 15 oz., and Lucy was 10 lbs. 9 oz. so they are growing well. Even though they are still small, they are growing with the curve that they have always been on, about the 10-15th percentile.

A few weeks ago we met up with a friend of Mike's from high school. She has twin boys who are adorable and we let the kids all play together. After all of that Che still said he'd like to have 10 babies at home! eek. That's a picture of all 4 twins up at the top!

Che is in preschool and enjoys it, although we think he's bored. We're considering sending him somewhere else, but we just don't know at this point. He doesn't bring home a lot of papers and doesn't ever have a lot to report, so we need to meet with the school and talk to the teachers for next year.

We've decided with Che that we're going to try and do something one-on-one with him each week. We're also going to try and put him to bed a half hour earlier. He's still really good with the girls, but he's had some acting out behaviors lately, that I think are from lack of attention.

I don't have any good pictures of him uploaded yet but I'll get some.

I know there's much more, but this will have to do for tonight!

Everything in the Brueseke household has been going really well. We’re approaching somewhat of a routine, and things are normalizing. It helps that the girls are really good. They are both fairly laid back, although Lucy requires more attention and Zoe is just pretty darn snuggly. The wackiest thing is that we put Zoe down in her crib the normal way, parallel with the long sides of the crib and she wakes up parallel with the short ends. I don't know how she does it.

Now, both girls are swaddled in the wraps, and don’t have their arms out so how she does this is a mystery, but it’s almost a nightly occurrence. Both girls are also batting at toys, and I’m on a mission to find a toy that spins when you hit it that doesn’t play music. Why does everything have to make music or annoying noises when you hit it or play with it? I did find some, but they were $10 for the pack of two. In hindsight I should have just bought them regardless of the price. Now I have to back track and search for them. If anyone has any ideas for spinny type toys, I’d be glad to welcome suggestions.

Both girls staring at the Ocean Wonder Aquarium. It’s in Zoe’s bed. I secretly think that Lucy is jealous because it has the rolling toy that you hit and it spins.
Both girls also love laying on their tummies and would happily sleep that way were it acceptable.
We do let them nap like that for short periods of time….shhh don’t tell anyone!

Che is doing really well as a big brother. He hasn’t asked for them to leave, and generally loves having Lucy and Zoe around. He is helpful and always willing to feed them, or stick a pacifier back in.

This is Che and his cousin feeding the girls on a Friday when my Mom comes and watches them.
Of course not all of Che’s time is spent on baby care…



These are Che’s roller skates that he got for Christmas. We’ve been waiting that long to try them out. He was a pro. He even let go of my hand and skated on his own with no help. He only fell one time, after making it all the way from the back door to the mailbox across the street and then back.

2 months

Happy Valentine's Day a little late...

At two months old, both girls can lift their heads, and spend much of their awake time watching everything that is going on. Zoe is particularly smitten with Ché. She smiles for him, and calms down when he plays with her (this is especially helpful during diaper changes)

Both girls are drinking more than 4 ounces at a setting normally, and sleeping more than four hours at a time, Hooray! Last night we even had a 7 hour. It was heavenly.

Zoe has started to pick herself up at the waist if you're holding her, or if she's sitting in the highchair/bouncy seat. It's quite disturbing to think she's doing that this early. She doesn't hold it long, but she can bend and get herself into a more upright position if she wants.

Ché is the greatest big brother, a little too handsy at times, but doing well. He always wants to make sure the girls are alright, and tells anyone else what they are doing wrong/right when caring for the girls. It is a bit bossy though so we're trying to curtail that behavior. He loves them dearly, has to say good-bye to them when he leaves, goodnight at bedtime, and good morning everyday. It's so nice to have this large gap between our kids, because he is capable of helping and understanding what's going on, and that sometimes we can't drop everything to give into his desires.

We're definitly working on the balance between baby care and preschooler play.

Wow

So it's been awhile, and I have a lot of things rolling around in my head, but not enough time to actually get them out and post them.

One of the things that I've been thinking about is talking about being pregnant. In my office there are three of us that have recently had children, the other two ladies babies are approaching a year old. Of course this lends towards many conversations about babies and pregnancy.

For some reason I have a hard time saying the phrase "When I was pregnant..."
I don't know why, but I have some thoughts on why.

1. It still feels surreal. I never thought I was going to be pregnant, let alone birth live children.
   
2. Guilt. I feel extreme guilt for a couple of reasons:
   
1. There are so many people out there that are still struggling to reach a pregnancy, let alone a live birth. People that are much older than I am, that have spent years, and thousands of dollars trying, and for us it worked on the first IVF cycle. Granted we spent a lot of time and money prior to that with other methods, but the fact that things worked on the first IVF cycle is amazing.
   
2. My pregnancy was so easy, it's embarrassing. If some women knew how easy of a time I had, they'd shoot daggers at me out of their eyes, and breath fire on me.
   
3. Time. Perhaps it just hasn't been long enough for me to put the pregnancy in perspective yet.
   
4. Two. This goes along with the guilt, but we were lucky enough that we not only were able to get pregnant on the first IVF cycle, but that both of the eggs we had transplanted took, and survived through almost 34 weeks. Many women who have twin pregnancies deliver early and their babies spend so much time in the NICU and have problems, and we didn't encounter anything like that. The hardest thing we had to face was jaundice.

So I guess, I feel extremely blessed, lucky, and happy to be where we are. I feel like our family is complete, with Che and the girls, it just seems and feels so full and complete. Perhaps in time it will be easier to talk about being pregnant and giving birth, but who knows.

And of course, some gratuitous cuteness:

Every girl needs a good pair of "chucks"One sleep deprived family somewhere around Christmas time.

Some pictures to hold you over

Till I have the brain to write more.

Zoe on the right, Lucy on the left

Lucy

Zoe on the left, Lucy on the right

Lucy

One proud big brother

Makin' a liar out of me!

I thought we were going home today, but I was wrong.

This morning I was released from the hospital, given my prescriptions, told Good luck and that was that. The thought was that when the girls' doctor came by he would check them out and release them, allowing us to all go home. Boy we were all wrong.

After the girls' doctor came by he checked them out, told us that both girls had regained an ounce and that they looked good. He left then and we thought he would sign the paperwork to come home. The nurse of the day came by to then tell us that the girls were not being released and had do something with the "billies." She did not explain what this was, and we had no idea. After some questions we found out that the girls have jaundice, and had to have a blood test done. So, because I was feeding Zoe, they took Lucy back to the nursery to draw blood for her test. After I was done with Zoe, she was whisked off to have the test done too. In the meantime we learned that the Dr. wanted the girls to be eating 1 to 1 1/2 ounces at each feeding. We knew this was going to be difficult because Lucy was no longer latching on as nicely, and was trying to sleep through feedings. We also had to make the decision on whether or not we were going to stay in a "parent room," or go home.

We decided to stay in a parent room, which is the same room we've been in but that we don't get meals, and medications. So, leaving the girls in the nursery, Mike and I went home, took some of our things that had accumulated here home, then picked up more things, went to CVS to have the prescription for percoset filled and pick up some other things. Of course, since the percoset is the drug I can take anytime, the system was down and the pharmacy couldn't fill it while we were there. The thought was that Mike would run back out and get it later, so we went back to the hospital.

Once back to the hospital we checked on the girls, learned that Zoe had to go under the "lights" and that Lucy just needed to pick up on her eating. The nurse on duty during that time barely gave us a moment to get things back together in the room, then she wheeled Zoe in with all these different machines to light her up. She did not explain things very well to us about what the machines do, and how they are helping the situation, but did just leave her here with us. Eventually Mike and I figured out what to do to keep her from rolling off of the bottom light, how to somewhat keep her eye mask on, and what settings to put the lights on. (Yes, amazingly, the nurse did not check what settings the lights needed to be on, and did not think about how best to keep her from rolling around, causing someone to reposition her every 5-7 minutes)

So, we learned that when we feed Zoe we have to take the portable light with us to feed her, then put her back as soon as she is done under both lights. Lucy was then brought in quickly after Zoe and we were told she needed to feed her in the next 10 minutes, so we rushed to get that all ready since I had just pumped and did not have any milk to breastfeed. At this point Lucy was starting to feed but wouldn't wake up enough to take the bottle, so I went down and asked the aforementioned nurse to please help us figure out how to keep her awake and show us some tricks to help her eat effectively since she had to get an ounce or more down. She came in, got a call, left, then came back but was not helpful at all in giving any advice. We did the best we could then handed her over to the nursery where they were able to get her to eat some more.

This continued at the next feeding too. Zoe got to come out from under her blue light, but stayed on her greenlight and ate an ounce of breastmilk/formula mixture. Lucy continued giving us trouble so after Nana, Mike, and I both gave it a try over a half hour period of time, Mike took her down to the nursery and asked someone to please show him what to do. I'm not sure who talked to him, but basically gave him one trick to try and so we added that to our growing "bag o tricks," and were able to get her to eat an ounce too.

So, then visiting hours were over and Nana had to go home. I encouraged Mike to go home, even though I didn't really want him too, but honestly we shouldn't both have to stay here for another night of no sleep for either of us, and so he went home too. Before leaving he called the pharmacy with the intention of picking up the percoset and dropping it off. Of course, it isn't done and most likely will not be done till tomorrow, leaving me with the only option for pain control as ibuprofen that I can only take every 4-6 hours, preferably 6, not 4.

At this time, both girls are sleeping, Lucy peacefully in her unadorned crib, and Zoe in her eye mask and glowing bed.

Sigh, hopefully we'll get some more answers tomorrow, and will be able to head home. I've loved all the help we've gotten here at the hospital, and though the nurse we had today left a bit to be desired, all of the others have been great. Now that the shift changed at 7 though, I haven't seen a nurse at all, and am left entirely on my own. I feel like I can't ask them for help because I'm not technically "here," and I know that I will ask for the girls, but there's nothing that can be done for me. I don't think I've ever felt so alone, or so abandoned before, but I know that we'll get through it as best as we can and hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to all head home and get in to our own routine.

The Whole Story

I really didn't jump on a pogo stick, or do jumping jacks in secret, like my husband tends to think. However I did get my wish, and Lucy and Zoe entered the world on Friday, December 18, 2009.

Luckily everything worked out alright, someone was definitely looking out for us, and I'm pretty sure I know who. Che was as usual on Thursday night at Nana's house, he went to bed at 6:45 after an exhausting all day Christmas party at school. Mike and I went to Gino's, and even took the time to wait for the deep dish sausage pizza (Mike is a big fan of the wheel 'o sausage). We got home about 8 o'clock, and took our customary places on the couch to watch some Thursday night football. We discussed names, and being that at my appointment earlier that day I was 3 centimeters dilated, were really trying to be serious this time. As is normal, we went to bed, me with what seemed like 3,000 pillows, and Mike, probably hoping I didn't snore the night away thus forcing him to the couch.

At 6:45 I woke up for the 2nd trip to the bathroom, and when I came back to bed, couldn't fall asleep because Miss Unknown at the time had decided a nerve that makes my hands fall asleep was a great place to lay. Mike got up to take a shower and get ready for work at about 7:30, and I heard the water running in the tub. I attempted to move, and my water broke. Since the tub water was running when I yelled out Mike didn't hear me, so I very gingerly waddled my way back to the bathroom to let Mike know who was out of the shower. I don't think I've ever seen him move so fast.

After a few minutes we both calmed down (although I don't think I ever got nusty, but I could be wrong) and took showers, gathered the few last minute things, and made some calls. We made it to the hospital by 8:30, and were taken into a triage room, where I explained that we were scheduled for a c-section on January 8, 2010, and that this was the route I still wanted to go. Not but a half hour into our stay, but my Mom showed up, very excited of course! It is of note to say that I did not have any contractions..., but we'll leave it at that because I don't want every other woman in the world to hate me.

After some tests, and an IV we were getting instructions on what the c-section would entail, and that we would pry go in about 30 minutes. This is where unfortunately it got interesting. About 10 to 10 my mom started crying, and put her head between her legs. We all asked if she was alright, and to my surprise she actually said no, that she had pain radiating in her arms, was short of breath, etc. So, she was promptly taken down to the ER here at the hospital, put on an EKG and checked out. She then had to have a catheter placed to check out her heart, through her arm I believe. She was taken to the heart floor here at the hospital, and diagnosed with "Broken Heart Syndrome." As of Saturday the cardiologist has released her, saying that her heart is weak, but with treatment she will recover. Unfortunately, the psychologist has not released her yet, but may do so tomorrow (Sunday.) She was understandably upset and kept apologizing for screwing things up, etc. She didn't of course. At this time she has been able to come up and meet the girls and was very happy to have done so.

The wonderful staff here at the hospital was very accommodating, allowing us to push back the time our c-section was supposed to happen and getting as many updates as we could about Mom. As soon as I felt that she was alright, I gave the go ahead to get going on our end. I have no idea what Mike did while I went back and had the spinal block placed. I have to say that the bee sting feeling of the numbing needle is spot on, and while the placement of the rest isn't painful, you do feel it going on and moving around. The heat and tingliness that follows is definitely something that while they told me about, I wasn't prepared for at all. I was all ready to go, and then the anesthesiologist told me that they had already started, so after I actually spent time listening to what was going on, I could hear cutting and instruments. Mike came in shortly after they had started, and he to my surprise watched a lot of the actual surgery, commenting on my uterus, and ovaries, and the babies "beautiful" umbilical cords along the way. I was not prepared for the play-by-play, but in hindsight glad it was there.

After a few minutes, I have no idea how many, but not a terribly long time, Lucy Ann debuted at 11:04, weighing in at 5lbs. 5oz., and was 19 inches long. She was the baby that was at the bottom in utero, so I'm sure she appreciated getting out of there, since she was no longer being squished. He sister, Zoe Lynn, followed close behind a 11:06, weighing in at 5 lbs., 9oz. and was 18 1/4 inches long. Sometime during Zoe's delivery the doctor said something to the effect of "No you can't go back in there." Both started crying very soon after coming into this world, and sounded really great. Neither had trouble breathing to my knowledge, or received oxygen. They spent some time in the heaters, and then were released to us, with no stay in the NICU.

During this time I was "put back together" and Mike was able to float between all the girls to take pictures and give me updates. We were then wheeled to recovery, where the girls continued to do well, and I started to come out of the anesthesia.

I have to say that the c-section was a lot easier than I thought it was going to be. When I was by myself getting prepped I was having second thoughts about doing things this way, however I knew that at that point there was no turning back, so did my best to suck it up and go with the flow.

During recovery the nurses asked if I wanted to nurse, and while it's something we had talked about we had not made it such a priority that we were dead set on doing so. I felt that if it worked, great, if not we would formula feed with no regrets. I did not think that things would work out well since the girls were born at 34 weeks 5 days, technically preemies, and could have difficulty sucking, however we underestimated the tough little cookies, who latched on right away for about 8-10 minutes.

At this time, both girls are still doing well at feeding, sleeping, and being exceptionally cute, although I know I'm biased. Zoe has a very round face and even personality, she either wants to be nursing, held, or sleeping, with or without a pacifier. Lucy has a bit more temperamental personality, but is still fairly easy going. She is the one that tends to fuss more, however is easily calmed and is just a bit more needy. Zoe's hair tends to lay down nice, and Lucy's stands up on end. I think that Zoe has more of my face, while Lucy has Mike's thinner face.

This has gotten extremely long, so I'll end it with a picture, and be done!

Sigh.

I know it's good news, but honestly, I wanted to kick the doctor yesterday for telling me that I'll pry go to 37 weeks. That's in January people. January. If you've not seen me lately, then perhaps you don't understand the gravity of that thought. I don't know where, or how I can get any bigger with these babies. I know, every day counts, and the longer they stay the better, but damn. 4 more weeks? Seriously? And of course he says: "Don't be alarmed if you start having some contractions every now and then."

I hadn't had any. Until yesterday when he told me that I would pry have some. Thanks a lot. I had three.

January, I mean really. There goes my tax break for '09.

Hair!

The beauty of having twins is that almost every appointment means you have an ultrasound to check heartbeats.
Today was no exception. I went in and the ultrasound tech, who we know on a first name basis since we've seen her soooo many times do a few more pictures and pointed out a few more things. Both the girls' heart rates were good, one at 144 the other at 142. She then did a few quick pictures, and pointed out this:

No, it's not the best picture, but all that fuzzy stuff sticking out in the middle of nowhere with the arrow pointing to it is hair. The other baby though... totally bald, no hair anywhere in sight!

Home

I guess I really was doing too much around the house.

Over the weekend my cankles grew to epic proportions. 11 1/2 inches around to be exact. And, they didn't go back down for a few days. So I called in to say on Thursday afternoon saying something doesn't seem right. I made the call at 1:30, and had an appointment at 2:15. So I left work on Friday afternoon and headed into the doctor. They took blood pressure, which a bit higher wasn't terrible (142/86, trust me I've had higher throughout this pregnancy), and the doctor came in with the famous words, "You're not going to like what I have to tell you." She placed me on maternity leave that day, with an appt. the next day to go over some test results.

I then got a nice bloodwork paper and headed across the street for a poke. Depending on what happened with the bloodwork I was either going to be sent home, or to the hospital for bedrest.
It was a very strained evening to say the least, I didn't sleep very much, and so I got up the next morning and at my appointment my blood pressure was 120/60, and all of my bloodwork came back within the normal range, meaning I'm not near preclampsia at this point. I'm still on maternity leave, and supposed to take it very easy. It's only been 2 days and I'm already finding that very difficult. Hopefully by not working anymore and taking it easy at home, I'll be able to avoid bedrest and an early delivery. Because even though we're past the point of viability, I sure don't want to have these little girls this early. After Christmas would be a much better option.

So, because I know everyone loves pictures, here are the cankles at their greatest:

And, if you get bored in the next 12 or so weeks, I'll be around...

Secret Belly Pics

Che was invited to his first birthday party at Chuck E. Cheese this past week. To be honest, we were skeptical, but the last time I remember being in that place it was dark, and dirty, so that was my memory from oh, about 20 years ago (eek, that makes me feel old)

Anyway, the party was on a Tuesday evening, which I have to say is genius. There were about 15 kids in the whole place, and it was great, no pushing, and wildness. In face the games Che wanted to play were available and he could just walk up and do them.

The birthday boys mom, a good friend of ours, was able to take some pictures of the festivities. This is at the end of the Birthday Show, where they randomly toss out a bunch of single tickets for the kids to scramble and pick up. Being that these little guys are only 4, they didn't get the significance of picking up the tickets, but boy did they enjoy the confetti like effect.

Here's Che playing a toddler style car racing game. There were no other cars to race against, just yourself, and you followed arrows along the path. He really enjoyed it and did quite well, although most of the time he did not push the gas pedal and just let the little car putter along.

And this was one we first got there. Che was mesmerized by the animitronic Chuck E. and Friends band, and there were TV's to watch. Needless to say, I don't think much got eaten at that end of the table.

Of course, unbeknown to me, I ended up in two of these pictures, so there are belly pictures that exist. It's honestly bigger than I thought, but than I only see it from the top. We used to have a full length mirror in our house, but when Che moved upstairs, the door it was on got taken down. This has led to a lot less awareness of how things are progressing.

On another note, speaking of things progressing, we are past the point of viability, meaning that if something happened there is a 90% chance that the babies would survive. Also progressing is the size of my cankles. If you have any idea what the next naming would be after cankle I could really use your help. I truly believe that they have grown beyond that name, and need something new.

Baby Boxing

The Baby boxing has been happening every day, between 2 and 3 pm. It's neat, and amazing, but sometimes annoying. I hate admitting that, but getting kicked and punched at four different areas can get mildly uncomfortable to say the least. But it means that they're in there and being feisty, so in the big scheme of things, it's great!

Mish Mash

Today is just a mish mash of the randomness I've been throwing around in my mind lately.

On Sunday, the 4th, we will be at 24 weeks. That's the point of viability in the US, so I know that we've at least made it to a point that if something bad happened, we may still walk away with a baby or babies. Now, nothing has happened, I've done extremely well and this has been really easy (*knock on wood*) I don't talk about that alot, because I don't want to feel the wrath of all the women that have dealt with terrible morning sickness, bedrest, etc.
So far the only things that have really bothered me are moderately swollen ankles and feet, legs that fall asleep alot, and fatigue. I'm still able to get up on my own (not out of the couch though), put on my own shoes, cook, etc.

One of the things that I've struggled most with throughout this pregnancy though is weight. When Mike and I first met with Dr. Jarrett in January of 2008, he told us to call him back in three months after I lost weight. Ideally 30 pounds. I did, and it was great, and I felt great. Then came the rounds and rounds of fertility meds, with the wonderful side effect of: weight gain! Yippee. I did my best and tried not to gain back the 30 pounds that I worked so hard to take off in Jan., but some of it did come back. By the time the decision was made for IVF (in Jan. 2009) I had gained about 15 pounds back. I think the stress of the situation and the side effect of the drugs doesn't make for a great situation, but I did the best I could.

So when early on in the pregnancy when I lost those 15 pounds again I almost felt better, but not really, because I knew that wasn't good. At this point though I've only gained 7 pounds from my pre-pregnancy weight. I struggle at 9 pm when I'm hungry, knowing full well that I should eat something, anything really, but there the little nagging voice in the back of my mind saying "You shouldn't eat after 7", and "Don't gain any weight." I think after struggling with weight for so long, and then knowing that this may have contributed in some part to our infertility struggles (not all, as a side effect of PCOS is being overweight) it's just been a struggle.

The average weight for a pregnant women to gain in 45-65 pounds and quite frankly, that scares the crap out of me.
But I guess things could be worse, I could be struggling with other issues, so for now I'm going to try my best to not think twice when I eat after 9pm, and not cringe when I down the 3rd mini-snickers of the day...

On a positive note, the kicking has gotten so strong that Mike finally felt it, and I have to say the look on his face was priceless. Yesterday it was so strong I could see my whole stomach moving, and that makes it worth it to try and not feel guilty about the weight gain. I've also notice that they "fight back" when I poke them around through my stomach, which makes me laugh, because at least I know they're feisty!

And, tomorrow Ché will be attending the sibling class at our hospital. It's designed for kids ages 3-7 to learn about what it will be like to have a new baby at home, and ways they can help. They'll also get to go on a tour and see the nursery. I'm so glad that our area offers things like this as it really helps Ché to be fully prepared for big changes.

Cool things this week

Your babies' hands have grown bigger and stronger and the nerve endings in her fingers have developed her sense of touch. She's in there testing out her new found abilities by touching her face and grabbing the umbilical cord. Other cool developments:

You're already raising little Einsteins. Your babies' brain are developing at a clip this week and will continue to do so until they're five years old.

Babies' hair is now a short, bright white crop (Billy Idol, eat your heart out!). No matter what color it will end up—red, blonde, black—all babies' hair lacks pigment at this point. (If they're like me, it will stay that way for at least another year...)

Your babies have started growing taste buds and may be able to detect strong flavors in the amniotic fluid. If you could see inside, you might catch her sticking out her tongue for a taste and then grimacing, a sign that perhaps you should chill on the chili powder. (Haven't seemed to mind the spicy food I eat on a daily basis...)

Your babies now weighs almost a pound and measures almost 11 inches from her head to their heel, which is how the Stretch Armstrong in your uterus will be measured from here on out. Up 'til now your babies' legs were curled tight up against her torso, so she was measured from her head to her bottom (or crown to rump) and not head to toe. This week your mini is about as long as a package of Oreos and as heavy as a large bag of tortilla chips.

It's sinking in

It's finally sinking in, and isn't as much of a shock as it was before. I think Mike and I are finally somewhat excited about the prospect of having two babies at once. For a long time other people were more excited than we were about us having twins. We were terrified (and still are) and apparently some people even wondered whether we were excited at all.

Of course we are. I think that it's wonderful and we wouldn't change it for anything, however it is a bit daunting when faced with the idea of daily life. Bottles alone will have to number close to 50 in our house just so that we have back up in case they don't all get washed in a day. Diapers are going to pry be on the upwards of 20 at the beginning, and that's just the two most obvious things that we've thought about. There's a lot that we have to prepare for, and a lot that we have to purchase, find, fix, and rearrange in our house. But, we're excited too.

I think next week, when we find out what the babies are, it will definitely hit home more that there will be two coming home, and then it will maybe make it seem more real. I think it may be more real for me, being that I'm carrying them around, however seeing them again next week will hit it home again for Mike.

Ché has successfully moved upstairs. We were prepared for more crying, and more trying to get attention, but he transitioned like a champ and still loves his room. He also told Nana today that the babies are coming around Christmas time, and that they aren't going to be staying in his new yellow room upstairs. They get his old fishy room, but not his fishy blanket, because he only has one of those!

16 weeks

16 weeks. Wow, where has the time gone?





Get ready for a growth spurt. In the next few weeks, your baby will double his weight and add inches to his length. Right now, he's about the size of an avocado: 4 1/2 inches long (head to rump) and 3 1/2 ounces. His legs are much more developed, his head is more erect than it has been, and his eyes have moved closer to the front of his head. His ears are close to their final position, too. The patterning of his scalp has begun, though his locks aren't recognizable yet. He's even started growing toenails. And there's a lot happening inside as well. For example, his heart is now pumping about 25 quarts of blood each day, and this amount will continue to increase as your baby continues to develop.

Can you make guacamole with 2 avocados? hehe. Coincidentally, as much as I enjoy their smooth texture, I am allergic to them.

I have some more updates that I'll get to, but I don't have time right now. I promise, they're coming though!

A few updates

Ché Updates:



We took Ché to the annual FTIA picnic this year (We missed last year due to a wedding), and he had a great time. Still thought nothing of all the kids looking like him. The only thing he cared about was riding the carousel. Of course, we forgot the camera, and the bag with the snacks, and extra clothes. Oh well. He also had a great time playing on the different playgrounds, and looking at the train that kept passing by. We stayed a few hours, then headed home, where Che after a lot of comments like, "I'm not tired," and "I don't need a rest," feel asleep for most of the ride home.



We are also in the mode of getting Ché ready to move upstairs to his big boy room. We have a 1 and a 1/2 story house, and there is only 1 bedroom on the 2nd floor. It's very large, and he'll have plenty of room for sleeping and playing. At this point he's really excited about it, and wants to paint the room yellow and pink. Last night we took down my bedroom set from home, and sent it back to my mom's house. Underneath the bed was a bunch of stuff left over from teaching, mostly bulletin board things, so Ché spent some time picking out the things he wants on his walls. On of which is a giraffe growth chart that goes floor to ceiling. He's pretty excited about it.



Babies Update:


We're now in the last week of the first trimester. It's pretty exciting, and I'm amazed at how fast this is all going. I've transitioned to some maternity clothes and some regular clothes and getting dressed is more and more of a challenge every day. Sunday, as I'm sure Mike will attest to was not a great day for dressing, and I changed outfits several times before finally just giving up.



This is the last week of your first trimester, and your risk of miscarriage is now much lower than earlier in pregnancy. Next week marks the beginning of your second trimester, a time of relative comfort for many women who see early pregnancy symptoms such as morning sickness and fatigue subside. More good news: Many couples also notice a distinct libido lift around this time. Birth is still months away, but your breasts may have already started making colostrum, the nutrient-rich fluid that feeds your baby for the first few days after birth, before your milk starts to flow.

Your baby has reached the size of a medium shrimp and weighs nearly an ounce. (Length: almost 3 inches, head to bottom.)

The name debate has cooled, it's just a subject we don't talk about at this point. I think that we've found a changing table solution, and we have two cribs ready to go. We're going to talk with Ché about whether or not he wants his siblings to have the fishies in his current room, or if they should get something new. We're really trying hard not to make it seem as though we're "Pushing" him out of his room, and making him give up all his things for the babies. In fact I was thinking of letting him decide which blankets out of the thousands he has to keep and which to give up for the babies. He's also very protective of the babies, and their things. He spent 7 minutes going through a grocery bag of baby clothes my SIL had sent over, "sorting" them out and making sure everything was alright for "his babies."

Other than that, life around our house is pretty normal, same stuff, different day, and I couldn't be happier with it that way.

12 weeks

The most dramatic development this week: reflexes. Your baby's fingers will soon begin to open and close, his toes will curl, his eye muscles will clench, and his mouth will make sucking movements. In fact, if you prod your abdomen, your baby will squirm in response, although you won't be able to feel it. His intestines, which have grown so fast that they protrude into the umbilical cord, will start to move into his abdominal cavity about now, and his kidneys will begin excreting urine into his bladder.

Meanwhile, nerve cells are multiplying rapidly, and in your baby's brain, synapses are forming furiously. His face looks unquestionably human: His eyes have moved from the sides to the front of his head, and his ears are right where they should be. From crown to rump, your baby-to-be is just over 2 inches long (about the size of a lime) and weighs half an ounce.

And that's the update this week. The size of limes... based on the last ultrasounds they are probably both right on, as they have measured exactly right every time. I still feel alright, although the doctor took me off of the metformin, and ever since then I have been a lot more tired, and a lot less hungry. Hopefully that will taper off as my body gets used to not having the medicine.