My Dad

I've always been close to my Dad. A bit too close I think as our lives seem to be opposite parrallels. For example:

When Mike and I were a month away from getting married, my Dad had a heart attack. He had to have 6 bypasses. But, he walked me down the aisle, and danced the first dance.

and

The week we flew to Guatemala was the same week that Dad learned he had liver cancer.

I'm sure there are other parrallels in our lives, but these two stick out to me the most. It seems as though whenever something good happens to me, life takes a crap on Dad. It's made me nervous to do things with my life. I was convinced that if we got pregnant on this cycle that it would kill Dad. Literally.

Throughout my life, Dad has always felt somewhat guilty and tried to make things up to me. He was graduating from Police Academy the day I was born. He was 3rd in his class and my mom tried to tell the mid-wife and nurses that she would be alright to wait until tomorrow. I didn't wait, and while Dad was graduating I was being born. I think he made it home from Indy in record time. Ever since then he's always apologized for not being there, yet I don't remember, and I certainly don't think it was a terrible thing.

Dad was a wonderful Dad. A person that never got angry or raised his voice. He was always calm and tried to be rational (something that wasn't always easy in my house growing up)

This is Mom and Dad in '07 shortly after being diagnosed:

You can see the pain in my Mom's eyes.

Three generation: My Dad, my brother, and my brother's son:

Dad in his new garage. My parents built a 4 car garage complete with crown molding and curtains. It was my dad's biggest project, but unfortunately he didn't get to spend much time out there.

Dad in his car, which is the reason for the garage!

A happy Papa. This was taken on Ché's adoption day, while we were waiting for the Judge.

I'm sure I'll find more pictures to share.

This is a picture Mike had in his photo storing that he put the link up to in the comment section:

Nothing new ** UPDATED**

We visited my parents last night. My dad looked like he did the day before.

I'm not sure all what's going on, as my mom is the kind that has to wait and tell you the details on her own time. There are some issues going on, but they haven't discussed it with the oncologist yet. I don't want to be naive, but I think that it's important to do that before jumping to conclusions.

It's still not happy news in anyway, however, I'm not sure where we stand.

On another note:

We don't have to go to Indy on Saturday, we're choosing to go. Dr. Jarrett's office called and said that we could come into the office Saturday for an ultrasound and that would then decided what we would do next (more injections of Bravelle, or the HcG) OR we could go ahead and just do the HcG on Sunday with the assumption that things are on track.

The ultrasound showed that my follicles were measuring at 11's and 12's, and they should be 15's or more before trying. So there not that far off.

We decided that we should do things the right way, and go down for the ultrasound. This way if we need one more injection, than it's not a waste.

In that event Ché is staying for the first time with Grandma and Grandpa. We'll see how that goes.

**UPDATE**

I was at home, packing Ché's things up for his weekend adventure, when my mom called. She had a very panicked voice, and I immediately thought something happened to my Dad. Boy, was I wrong. She called to tell me that my brother's mother-in-law was found in her trailer dead. My brother was holding a garage sale this weekend, so my mom was calling for help in cleaning that up and getting his 2 kids to their house for the night. My brother's mother-in-law was in her early 60's and fairly healthy. Please keep their family in your thoughts.

On another side note, seems that there was a mishap at my parents house involving juice. My dad drinks these little Welch's juice bottles. He was taking them upstairs to his room and drinking half or so a night. He would then finish the rest later. Seems that some of them were growing mold and he was still drinking them. The thought at this moment, although not medically checked, is that the ill feeling, and the other things going on were an adverse effect of drinking moldy juice. sigh. It's always something around here.

Something Else

I truly thought I would be posting more. But what can I say.

There isn't much on the Dad front. He's feeling o.k. which I guess in the world of liver cancer is good, but still it's hard to see him so run down and tired all the time.

On another note, I thought I could branch out and start talking about some other things; my whole life doesn't revolved around cancer (amazing I know)


So I guess, this is my first non-cancer blog post.


As it says in my "About Me" section, I'm 25, married to M, and have a wonderful son C.

My husband and I married in Oct. 2003, and will celebrate our 4th anniversary this year. He works at Notre Dame and I work with the Juvenile Justice Center.

I really enjoy just spending time at home with my family, especially now with the addition of C., to our lives. It's amazing how a 3 ft. being can change your life...

Here's a picture of C:



This was the first time he ever had corn on the cob. You would have thought he ate it every day.

So my son is almost 2, (Nov.) and I can't believe he's already that old. Granted he's only been in our home for 9 months, but that's an entirely new post.

Someone recently asked me if I was going to post about our troubles with fertility, or our adoption, but I don't know yet. I can't say. I've been reading infertility blogs for awhile, and I can conclude a few things:

1. They can be really depressing
2. They can be really crass and hold TMI
3. They can make you question every feeling you have in your body

... and I just don't know if I want to add to those feelings. On the other hand infertility blogs can do the following:

1. They can be really uplifting
2. They can be sources of information
3. They can be sources of inspiration
4. They can be places to feel a common bond.

... and so you can see why I'm torn. As far as an adoption blog, wow. there's another place I'm not quite sure I want to go yet. You see, I don't want to fall in the trap of making adoptions appear all hearts and roses and singing angels. It isn't, and even though our adoption is final, it was difficult and that is something that I will always remember. (However, looking at my son's face often makes me have a momentary lapse in memory).

So I'll see and if I'm feeling brave, perhaps I start blogging about one of those things.

+