Pictures (with more info now!)

Take a look, take a guess...

This is what we've been up to. Know what it is?

Yes, there are two.  It doesn't mean that either or both will stay.  We'll find out at a later date and be sharing.  Unfortunately this is even harder than the shots, and multiple trips to Indy, the uncomfortable procedures, and the 5 people looking at my bits and pieces on Wednesday...

It's going to be a busy weekend...

We got the go ahead from Dr. Jarrett.
We do a trigger on Friday, then a "busy" weekend...
I will have an HcG check next Thursday, and a possible HcG booster.

Things apparently looked good enough to go.

On another note...
Father's Day is Sunday. It's going to be a hard one. Any suggestions on how to make it easier for my Mom.
She had looked through old things, and pulled out cards we had bought for Dad, and made for Dad in years past. It's going to be rough.

Anybody got any money?

Sigh, if only that would fix the problems.

Mike and I made it an hour early to our appointment on Saturday morning. Luckily for us, they let us in an hour early and did our appointment. Of course since Mike works for a pretty well known Catholic University, nothing that is deemed as infertility is covered. The blood work on Saturday wasn't covered, and cost $139. The ultrasound had to be billed as infertility too. It was $230. The whole appointment cost $369 and lasted at most 30 minutes. (That's $738/ hour and $12.30/ minute for you math people)

We left, I felt good. I had three follicles on my left side that were measuring about 15-16mm. We thought we would do a few more Bravelle injections, and have another ultrasound on Mon./Tues. of this week. (Coincidentally I had a perfectly sized follicle on the right side, but since it's not connected, it doesn't matter). Everything was fine, and while I wasn't looking forward to more home injections, it was alright, and we figured things would be ready to "go" by mid-week. The nurse was going to give us a call that afternoon after talking to Dr. Jarrett to let us know the procedure and to let us know that she would call in our prescription to the pharmacy.

We stopped for breakfast at a Bob Evan's in Kokomo. I had biscuits and gravy and didn't feel guilty thinking that in the grand scheme a carb splurge was alright since things were going down the right path.

How wrong we were. About 30 minutes from home the phone rang. I answered, and listened, said mmhmm, and said everything was fine and hung up. Only, everything wasn't fine. The blood work showed that my estradiol and lutenizing hormones didn't rise, and with the slow growth of the follicles, it was pretty much a wrap. The follicles probably wouldn't grow anymore and so the advice was to stop taking all meds and let nature take it's toll. Basically wait for a period and start over again.

I cried, I didn't talk to Mike, and basically felt guilt. Too much diet coke? Was it the meds that I missed (the non-essential ones)? Did I eat too many carbs?

I'm still lamenting over it.

It was nice though to have a phone call from the Dr.'s office today just asking how I was. Someone actually cared, and didn't make the "he knows what he's doing comment," and blow me off. The nurse that called said she would be talking with Dr. Jarrett again today and let us know.

Again, we wait, but now we look for financing options that carry lower interest than our current credit cards.

I wish there was an easier way.

BTW, If I hear any of these comments again I may kill someone:

1.) You have Ché, and should be grateful for that.

(I am, very much so, but I don't want him to be an only child.)

2.) Just relax

3.) It'll happen when it happens.

4.) Did you check whether you and your husband are compatible?

(This was said by a phlebotomy tech and was talking about sperm and cervical fluid)

I'm sure there are others that I'm not remembering but you get the point.

I have ice down my pants.

And it's by choice.

Tonight is the last night for the injections. I'm glad. Very, very glad. I was all set to do it on my own. The injecting part that is, with Mike dosing things out. He's a much more precise measurer than I. (I do the pinch of this, dash of that cooking, Mike measures water to make mac-n-cheese)
But, through no fault of his own the mixing of sodium chloride and bravelle took a lot longer than expected, and I, lost my nerve.

Mike took care of the injection. The first was the worst. I think he moved the needle after it was in my stomach and it just caused some discomfort. The 2nd and 3rd were much much better, they didn't even hurt. I think it's because I iced prior to all three, but only after the 2nd and 3rd.
I was really glad on Wednesday night to be done with that whole part of this process. I did break down on Tuesday and cried while Mike sat on the couch with a needle in his hand. He even offered to put it all away, but I figured that defeated the purpose of the whole thing we're trying to do. So I took a minute and we were fine.

I went this morning (Thursday) for an u/s and some blood work. It seems as though I do have some follicles but they aren't as big as they should be. I have no idea what the blood work indicates.

So I wait and finally get a call from Indianapolis office and the news is:

2 more nights of Bravelle injections
an ultrasound in Indy (3 hours from us) on Saturday
an HcG shot on Sunday
Intercourse Sunday, Monday, and Tuesday

Ya, more shots.
Hooray.

Here we Go ** Updated

Well, in one hour we will be meeting with the RE. For those of you that don't know, it's a Reproductive Endocrinologist.
Yea. I'm sure that I will have plenty to report afterwards, although they said it was only going to last 30 minutes.

I don't know what is going to come of this meeting, is it a meet the doctor meeting, is there an exam, will we start stuff in January?

Sigh, I'm sure I'll have the answers and I'll share what I feel like later, but for now I just sit and wait and worry and get nervous, sigh.

**We did meet with the RE. He was very nice, but blunt and obviously too the point. We were in his makeshift office (an exam room with papers on the table instead of women in stirrups), for about 30 minutes. He listened, asked some questions, and then said, "hmm, I'm thinking, I've almost got it, yes I've got it." Gave us a very glossy color printed "handbook" and told us what to do.

Just a bit of a back story. The RE comes from Indy to South Bend about once a month. It is a new thing they have just started, and this was his initial trip. He doesn't work out of the office here and travels the 2.5 hours to see patients here since he is so well know.

So what do we have to do? First, it isn't a we. It's a me. What does Liz have to do? Since Liz has PCOS it means we, or actually I get to do this:

1.) Start taking more drugs. Yippee. I am currently taking 1500 milligrams of metformin(a insulin lowering drug), and that has been upped to 2000 milligrams a day. I will be taking provera, or progesterone, because things are just that screwed up for me.
2.) I am not allowed to eat anything. Not exactly but here's the paragraph from the glossy handbook:

"... follow what we call a low amylose diet (no simple carbs, no potatoes, no bananas, no corn, no bread, no pasta, no cereal..."

On the plus side I should lose about 10 lbs. a month doing this.

3.) If this doesn't immediately help our chances of getting pregnant, then I will move on to the injectible drugs.

There are all sorts of other things in the "handbook" which just sound particularly pleasing are ovarian drilling (laser), capsule resection, and multiple punch biopsies to name a few.

Who knew it was this hard to have a child? I mean I know I'm overweight, but damn, I see heavier women having kids all the time, unhealthy women, 13 year old girls that don't even know what the world is about yet, and here I am 25, relatively healthy, overweight and this is what I have to do.

Yay...