Toddler Musings

Every Monday Ché attends "school." Mike and I switch off taking Ché to school every week so that it isn't a burden on one of us, and we both get the joy of picking him up at the end of the day. I believe we both take different routes to get to school, and the route that I take, leads us down a very busy residential area with a lot of kids. Being that we're traveling around 8 o'clock makes it so that there are a lot of buses out in the morning. One thing that I have been amazed at is the differences in the conversations now involving the buses vs. a year ago. A year ago at best we got a "BUS!" shouted excitedly from the back seat, but now, it's much more involved.

On our way to school this morning (10.13.08) we took our normal route, since driving down Portage usually heeds 6 or more buses.
We (Ché and I) were counting buses and I was explaining the difference between the school bus and the city bus.

(Can you tell the difference?)

Well, luckily the city bus in front of us dropped a lady off with her groceries, and he saw it, promptly telling me “Momma, that bus dropped that lady off.”

So then Ché continued to tell me that he would like to ride a bus too. I told him that he was not old enough to ride the school bus, however that anyone could ride the city bus. I asked him where the bus would take him and he told me that it would take him to school, then pick him up at school and then drop him off at home where Momma and Daddy and Candy are.

This alone was a great conversation but it didn't stop there!

So Ché continues talking about when he’s bigger he’s going to ride the bus to work. (What an environmentalist we're raising!) I ask him where he works, and he told me at a hotel. I asked him what he did for his job at a hotel and he told me that he ate and swam in the swimming pool, then he changed his mind and said that he swam in two pools. He also went on to tell me that sometimes he feeds the bird at the hotel where he works, eating and swimming. (Some of this comes from our trip to Indy where the hotel had a parrot in a cage that of course was fascinating)

I then asked Ché what he wants to be when he’s bigger, and he told me, “A lobster.” I confirmed what he said and he further explained that he wants to be a lobster so he can “pinch, pinch, pinch.”

(Perhaps this is what he has in mind?)

Fascinating. Utterly fascinating that we have moved from "BUS!" to whole conversations with context and meaning, and free thinking. Sigh, I guess he really is growing up even though we still wear 18 mo. pants...

Couple of Things

1.) Ché told his teachers at school today that he had to pee. They took him, he went. I think we're heading somewhere! Yay!

2.) Remember a post or two ago when I plead for help on my naked loving toddler? He's moved up in the world. Now, don't get me wrong, he still tries to get his nakedness on, but has become "stealthy" about it. Wanna see?



Mike had checked on Ché about 10:30pm. He found these pictures:

Now, obviously Ché was embarrassed. Can't you tell?

Rest assured, I do know how to dress someone. I've been doing it awhile. I did not put the clothes on inside out. Now, since I had the heads up, I readied the camera for the next morning to capture the waking moments. I also decided to do a little interrogation, you know, because I can.

I love that I have blackmail material. He's two, of course he's going to experiment. But this was just hilarious. At least it didn't end in pee in the bed, or a Poo-Poo Picasso.

Argh. Big Argh. Daycare dilemma. **Updated**

So it's Monday. And Monday's in our house are "school" days for Ché. I've raved about his "school." We like it, and they are flexible in that he can go just one day a week. That's one of the main reasons why we chose his "school."

But today, Momma ain't happy.

I didn't drop Ché off this morning, Daddy did. We take turns so that it doesn't become work or a task/job for just one person. It's gotten considerably easier since he likes to go now, and doesn't cry the minute you step away from the little half door. Ché should be moving up the the 2's room soon, he's currently in the toddler room. This has been mentioned on several occasions, but never followed through with. We're fine with him staying in the toddler room. He's small, he gets along well with the teachers, and the other kids, and hey, change is rough. We like keeping things even and working well. Why worry, when things are great. Now of course, we also know that due to numbers, and everything else, it's only a matter of time that he will have to move because there are infants that need to move to the toddler room, and well, Ché is one of the oldest kids, so he's going to go up the the 2's first, so o.k., but it does need to be transitional, you can't just throw kids around from room to room.
So, whoever drops Ché off sends an e-mail to the other parent to update them, and keep them notified as to the mood. Today was fine, apparently Ché was a little upset because they had to go to a different room, since their room was being cleaned. I think he was more upset because, not only the unfamiliarity, but because there was a bigger kid in there pushing around one of his friends. Now, this friend is bigger, and would hold her own in the toddler room, but apparently in the 2's room was being pushed around and crying. I can see why this might be a bit frightening, because if the big kid in your class is getting pushed around, you gotta figure it's only a matter of time for you, the little kid.

So the reason for my anger?

1.) Why was a bigger 2 year old kid pushing around a toddler aged kid?
a.) Where were the teachers?
b.) I know what it's like to have a roomful of kids, last year I had 24 6 year olds to watch
out for, and you can't see everything, I KNOW THIS, but if there's a kid crying, you
damn well better fix that situation.
c.) Ché is small, he's going to be a target for big bully kids. I hate saying this, but how can you
tell your kid not to do anything when the supervision isn't helping them out? I will never
advocate for my child to fight back, but I will advocate for him to run and tell.

2.) When it was brought up today that Ché would be moving rooms this was the response:
a.) "he made it more complicated just with how rarely he comes in"

Now, I'm not sure who said this, but seriously, whoever did really needs to be talked to. How inappropriate. You never blame a kid for a facility/number/population problem. EVER. It makes me want to find a new daycare, no matter how hard that would be. ARGH. I am stymied as to why a teacher/administrator/aide would say this. Now, if it's one of the first two people that decided to say this, than it's a real problem. You just don't do it. I mean, if you did this in a 1st grade class with the "I'm sorry you're kid cannot move to 2nd grade, because he rarely comes in, and there isn't room, and we can't figure out the number of children for each room," that would just not work.
Everyone would be up in arms, there would be lawsuits, etc.
I guess it's just unnerving, because the facility allows for usage based on what you need, be that 1 day a week, or 5. We pay our bill on time, we pick our child up before he's there for 10-12 hours a day. We are complimentary to the staff, we make sure our child behaves, and yet, it is now our fault that things are screwed up?
ARGH. I don't even know what else to say. Any suggestions?

**I was apparently misinformed about the intent of the statement, however I still deem it inappropriate for anyone to say this to a parent. The comment was intended that she didn't want him to feel "pushed" out of his room, since he has just become comfortable there.
However, this doesn't change the pushing around and apparent lax supervision, as well as the need to set firm guidelines as far as rooms, ages, and number of children in a room, and a plan to transition. Ah, well, still open for suggestions though.**

Another Weekend Bites the Dust

Ah, another weekend gone. It seems as though we just turn around and it's Sunday night.

For the first time in well over 2 months, Ché cried at being dropped off at school this morning. I'll admit that the morning didn't start out the best, but man I feel so guilty about leaving him when he's crying. The smooshed up reddening face does it every time.
See Ché is not an early riser, and much prefers to play in his crib for about 20 minutes before actually getting out. If you get him out too quickly it can turn into a really crabby morning. Unfortunately for all involved, we don't have that luxury on Mondays. Ché goes to school on Monday mornings and stays until one of us picks him up from school. It was really hard in the beginning, he would cry and reach for us as we walked out the door, but eventually he got used to the other kids and teachers, and started to enjoy it. We knew it was golden when he would immediately let go, and run up the little bridge steps, turn wave good-bye and throw us a kiss. It wasn't hard, no one felt guilty, and Ché has really been learning things, some good (shapes and colors), some bad (hitting and pinching. But over Christmas time Mike was home and I was home and Ché didn't visit school for 3 weeks. I sometimes forget that 3 weeks is an eternity in the mind of a 2 year old, and didn't realize that this morning was fated to go smoothly.

Mike and I made plans last night, we were together on our idea and it was going to go well. HA! Mike was going to take Ché to school, and I was going to pick him up. That all changed this morning though, a 7:15am call from Mike's boss needing a ride for the tire store, meant I was now taking Ché. No big deal, except Ché wasn't having any of the getting up. He latched onto a hanger of all things and wouldn't let it go, untabbed his diaper leaving him diaperless in our bed with footie jammies unzipped. (Quite a scene if you ask me) and refused to go to the potty or get a new diaper. I finally asked him if he wanted to use the potty, #1, or get a diaper #2. My child always picks #2. It's a favorite number. So, off we went kicking a crying to get a diaper and change clothes.
This did not go well. He threw the aforementioned hanger, kicked and screamed whilst getting a diaper and changed, and then sulked the rest of the morning, until presented with a tangerine. Then his mood changed and I thought "Yes, here we go, this is the Ché I know," and walked out the door to school. No fighting with the coat as it was 57 degrees this morning and the vest was just fine and we sang songs and talked about all the people at school on the 10 minute trip.

Ché willing got out of the car, held hands and walked so confidently into the building, down the hall to his little classroom and froze at the half door. He wouldn't budge. He wouldn't move, and wouldn't be coaxed to enter that infernal room. Finally his teacher took his hand and led him to the little table where the kids eat their meals. I signed him in, got his masterpiece artwork from his folder, and went over to say goodbye. He gave me a great big hug and a kiss, I told him to have a great day and that I would be back to pick him up later, and walked towards the door.
I turned to say goodbye and blow him a kiss and that's when it started:

Scrunched up face, red cheeks, moistening eyes, and all. Ché needs a work up time to crying, so no noise immediately escapes. What was I to do? I knew going back would make it worse, but boy do I feel guilty walking away. I chose the latter and cringed when I heard his cries break through as I walked to the exit.

So my question today I guess is this: What do you do when you know you have to leave and your child cries? Do you have this same problem, or did you when your kids had to be left at a caretakers? How do you deal with the guilt? How do you handle tough transitions?

On another note, Ché has to move to the 2's room soon, due to age and numbers of children in the classes, and I'm sure that's not going to go well too.