Makin' a liar out of me!

I thought we were going home today, but I was wrong.

This morning I was released from the hospital, given my prescriptions, told Good luck and that was that. The thought was that when the girls' doctor came by he would check them out and release them, allowing us to all go home. Boy we were all wrong.

After the girls' doctor came by he checked them out, told us that both girls had regained an ounce and that they looked good. He left then and we thought he would sign the paperwork to come home. The nurse of the day came by to then tell us that the girls were not being released and had do something with the "billies." She did not explain what this was, and we had no idea. After some questions we found out that the girls have jaundice, and had to have a blood test done. So, because I was feeding Zoe, they took Lucy back to the nursery to draw blood for her test. After I was done with Zoe, she was whisked off to have the test done too. In the meantime we learned that the Dr. wanted the girls to be eating 1 to 1 1/2 ounces at each feeding. We knew this was going to be difficult because Lucy was no longer latching on as nicely, and was trying to sleep through feedings. We also had to make the decision on whether or not we were going to stay in a "parent room," or go home.

We decided to stay in a parent room, which is the same room we've been in but that we don't get meals, and medications. So, leaving the girls in the nursery, Mike and I went home, took some of our things that had accumulated here home, then picked up more things, went to CVS to have the prescription for percoset filled and pick up some other things. Of course, since the percoset is the drug I can take anytime, the system was down and the pharmacy couldn't fill it while we were there. The thought was that Mike would run back out and get it later, so we went back to the hospital.

Once back to the hospital we checked on the girls, learned that Zoe had to go under the "lights" and that Lucy just needed to pick up on her eating. The nurse on duty during that time barely gave us a moment to get things back together in the room, then she wheeled Zoe in with all these different machines to light her up. She did not explain things very well to us about what the machines do, and how they are helping the situation, but did just leave her here with us. Eventually Mike and I figured out what to do to keep her from rolling off of the bottom light, how to somewhat keep her eye mask on, and what settings to put the lights on. (Yes, amazingly, the nurse did not check what settings the lights needed to be on, and did not think about how best to keep her from rolling around, causing someone to reposition her every 5-7 minutes)

So, we learned that when we feed Zoe we have to take the portable light with us to feed her, then put her back as soon as she is done under both lights. Lucy was then brought in quickly after Zoe and we were told she needed to feed her in the next 10 minutes, so we rushed to get that all ready since I had just pumped and did not have any milk to breastfeed. At this point Lucy was starting to feed but wouldn't wake up enough to take the bottle, so I went down and asked the aforementioned nurse to please help us figure out how to keep her awake and show us some tricks to help her eat effectively since she had to get an ounce or more down. She came in, got a call, left, then came back but was not helpful at all in giving any advice. We did the best we could then handed her over to the nursery where they were able to get her to eat some more.

This continued at the next feeding too. Zoe got to come out from under her blue light, but stayed on her greenlight and ate an ounce of breastmilk/formula mixture. Lucy continued giving us trouble so after Nana, Mike, and I both gave it a try over a half hour period of time, Mike took her down to the nursery and asked someone to please show him what to do. I'm not sure who talked to him, but basically gave him one trick to try and so we added that to our growing "bag o tricks," and were able to get her to eat an ounce too.

So, then visiting hours were over and Nana had to go home. I encouraged Mike to go home, even though I didn't really want him too, but honestly we shouldn't both have to stay here for another night of no sleep for either of us, and so he went home too. Before leaving he called the pharmacy with the intention of picking up the percoset and dropping it off. Of course, it isn't done and most likely will not be done till tomorrow, leaving me with the only option for pain control as ibuprofen that I can only take every 4-6 hours, preferably 6, not 4.

At this time, both girls are sleeping, Lucy peacefully in her unadorned crib, and Zoe in her eye mask and glowing bed.

Sigh, hopefully we'll get some more answers tomorrow, and will be able to head home. I've loved all the help we've gotten here at the hospital, and though the nurse we had today left a bit to be desired, all of the others have been great. Now that the shift changed at 7 though, I haven't seen a nurse at all, and am left entirely on my own. I feel like I can't ask them for help because I'm not technically "here," and I know that I will ask for the girls, but there's nothing that can be done for me. I don't think I've ever felt so alone, or so abandoned before, but I know that we'll get through it as best as we can and hopefully tomorrow we'll be able to all head home and get in to our own routine.